Wolitzer discusses women in writing, humor advice | The ...

Meg Wolitzer, New York Times bestselling author, talks with Roger Rosenblatt at the Ampitheater on Wednesday. Photo by Adam Birkan.

Laurence L?veill? | Staff Writer

Audience members erupted into laughter time and time again as Meg Wolitzer and Roger Rosenblatt exchanged witty remarks during Wednesday?s morning lecture.

The humor and wit seeded throughout the conversation demonstrated Wolitzer?s philosophy on its use in novels.

?Humor in a novel has to exist the way humor in a conversation exists,? she said. ?It comes out of character.?

Between the jokes and laughter, Rosenblatt and Wolitzer discussed female authors, decisions writers make and character development in novels.

Having an established mother as a writer is the greatest thing in the world to Wolitzer.

?Because she never once told me, ?Maybe you should think about law school,??? she said.

Her mother made Wolitzer realize that people only have one life to live and should do something they are passionate about.

Wolitzer recited an anecdote she had written in a piece for The New York Times. When a man at a dinner party found out Wolitzer was a writer, he asked her the worst question a writer can be asked: ?Would I have heard of you??

She began answering it by naming her books and hoping people who asked would recognize one. After explaining to the man what her books were about, he told Wolitzer she should meet his wife.

Now, Wolitzer realizes there is only one answer to that question:

?In a more just world,? she said.

Some of the greatest writers are women, and some of the greatest novels are about women and their lives, Wolitzer said. But female authors have a smaller audience than male authors. Women are more likely to read books about and written by men and women, but it?s harder to get men to read books about and written by women.

?That?s crazy to me,? Wolitzer said. ?I feel like saying to the men: ?Don?t you want to know about the women you live with? Don?t you want to know what?s going on in their lives????

Novels can tell a lot about people, and it?s important to learn about others, she said.

?Because if you don?t know about what goes on in the interior lives of other people, how can you have empathy?? Wolitzer said. ?The whole culture kind of collapses.?

Writing is all about choices. Choices about what a book should be about, how it should be written, characters, tone.

When Wolitzer wrote her most recent book, The Uncoupling, she wanted to write about female desire over time and what happens to it, she said.

One way she could have written the book would have made it seem like a ?cranky women?s magazine called ?Our Sex Life Has Gotten Kind of Dim.??? But that would not be a novel, she said.

?I only write the novels that I want to find on the shelf, which I think is a great rule of thumb,? Wolitzer said.

In terms of characters, Wolitzer said it is important to answer the question, ?Who are these people?? If readers don?t know why they are reading a book or who the characters are, they will have no reason to keep reading.

Wolitzer suggested everyone should have a designated reader who can provide input on a book?s progress. That is a way to ensure characters do not all sound the same. It is also important to make sure the character is someone the writer would want to be around.

?If it?s not somebody you want to talk to at the dinner party, it?s not somebody you want to live with for 300 pages,? she said.

Humor also plays a role in character.

To explain the difference between jokes and humor in novels, Wolitzer told a joke about a family visiting their grandmother on her 100th birthday and asking her what she would like to do that she has never done before. The grandmother wants to go whitewater rafting on the Colorado River. As promised, the family hires a private nurse, makes her a special IV line and brings her to the river to go whitewater rafting.

On her 101st birthday, the family asks her the same question. She says, ?All my life, I?ve been wanting to go whitewater rafting on the Colorado River.?

Wolitzer said she gave the audience the scene of the joke only to take it away.

?In a good novel, if you set someone up to take it away, that?s cheap,? Wolitzer said. ?That?s not fair. That?s a bad choice.?

Wolitzer

Editor?s note: This Q&A has been edited for clarity and length. All questions were for Meg Wolitzer.

Q:?You talked about Meg, choices and all the choices you have to make as a writer, and just listening to what you read, just in that one chapter, the number of choices. Do you know the really significant choices? Most of these, do they just come naturally or do you get to points where you say, ?I?m really considering alternatives here and which way do I go??

A: You know, it?s kind of paradoxical, and maybe Roger has the same experience. But sometimes, you make a choice and you think it?s really great. You think it?s kind of brilliant even, and you sort of congratulate yourself about it. And you keep it in there for several drafts, and it?s your favorite line, and you love it, and it?s wonderful. And then it sticks out at you, and you realize, you think about this thing that Grace Paley said ? the great writer Grace Paley: ?The myth of the best-loved sentence.? Pluck it out. And it?s true, and it?s a hard thing to do, and it?s a hard choice to make, but sometimes it?s there for the sake of itself, that line. Everything in a book, everything in a paragraph, everything in a sentence, is there in the service of the work.

Q:?What do you risk as a writer?

A:?You risk exposure of some sort. Look, I write fiction, so I can sort of just sort of say all the time, ?That?s just fiction.? I?ve never written autobiographically. This didn?t happen to my parents ? although people ask you that ? my parents have had to put up with stuff like that. As the daughter of a writer, I?ve had to put up with stuff. My mother had something in an early story of hers, in which the mother is bathing her kids and she thinks, ?I don?t love you, kiddo.? But you risk people thinking they know you, and that?s OK to me. But you have to be willing to just do it. I sometimes tell my students, ?If not now, when?? You know, don?t live your life like it?s a biography, thinking, ?How did she seem? How did she come across? What was her reputation?? Just forget it, write the book you want to write. This is it. You know, with Nora Ephron?s death today, I was thinking: She had a great body of work. She lived and did amazing things. She did all kinds of things. She became a director at age 50, and how wonderful to do things you want to do. And that holds true for writing, but you risk people thinking they know you.

Q:?Can you talk about your writer?s routine?

A:?The first part of the day ? I was just saying this on the radio ? is pretty sacred except for special events like today. I think that as the day goes on, it?s kind of diminishing returns for a lot of people, and then you get into that stuporous blood sugar ? that low-blood-sugar-middle-of-the-afternoon state where all you can do is watch ?Real Housewives.? But the day starts with the greatest intentions and with a kind of grandiosity. And I sort of think of writing as like a funnel. When you start writing a book, and when the day begins, the funnel, you?re pouring things into the funnel, and you?re full of energy, and you?ve just ? one hopes ? had a good night sleep, and you?re full of energy, and you have ideas. And you work as long as you can until you?re absolutely bored to death, and then you do something maybe that invigorates. Music is terrific. Talking to somebody you really like can help. Hitting yourself on the head sometimes is necessary. But I try to work in the mornings. I work when my younger kid goes off to school. I sort of start the day that way, and I almost never work in the evening. It just feels like, I don?t know if it?s just family time ? I guess I like to say that. But sometimes it?s just thinking time, and I sort of gear up for the next day.

Q:?Do you find that social media, Facebook and things such as that, expand your own personal experiences??

A:?All the writers I know who I?m really good friends with have a lot of ambivalence about social media. I still don?t really understand it. Your publishers make you do it. You know, and you do it. And in the beginning, it?s kind of amazing because you find that there is this world of people who read you, and they find you, and they talk to you about their favorite lines in your book, and it?s lovely, it?s really lovely. But then, I went on Twitter because they wanted me to do that, and I think what I?ve realized about the difference there ? it?s like you?re not allowed to promote yourself so overtly. So it?s more like, ?I just had a sweet potato. Buy my book,? instead of just, ?Buy my book.? So I don?t really understand it. I mean, you link to other things. It?s a kind of engine of goodwill toward other people, but there is the subtext which is that you?re there if you?re a writer because you want people to know your work, or at least your sensibility. And there are some writers like Susan Orlean, who?s a wonderful writer and friend, who has millions of Twitter followers. And she says witty funny things. I am of two minds about it. Because I kind of feel like I have to preserve stuff for my work. So I?m still struggling right now with how much to give ?the people? and how much to really sort of save for the people I?m writing about. But it can be wonderful. Like when my Scrabble book came out, I had sort of mentioned somewhere that I was appearing somewhere playing Scrabble. And this woman showed up at a bookstore in San Francisco and said, ?I?m challenging you, because you wrote on Facebook.? And I was kind of touched by that, and it does kind of make the world seem less lonely. So yeah, it has some good things.

Q:?If one should only write what you really know, how do you keep your novels from being autobiographical?

A:?Well, I don?t know that I would say that. I mean, that?s a thing that gets said a lot. Write what you know. It?s true, but it?s true in a large sense, OK? I mean, I do write what I know, but I don?t write what I live. And I think there?s really, really a distinction to be drawn. What do I know? I wrote a book called The Ten-Year Nap, that I referred to before, about women who?ve stopped working for a long time when their kids are born, and suddenly their kids are out of the house. They may be home with their kids, but their kids may not be home with them any longer. Now look, I?ve never not worked. I?ve worked since I graduated from college. I sold my first novel when I was 21. And actually, I went to Random House with my novel, my little novel, in a sort of box, and a priest got on the elevator. And he was carrying a huge novel, that was about ?this high,? and it was wrapped up with twine like thick rope, like the kind you?d hang yourself with. And he got on the elevator, and he said to me, ?Do they know you?re coming?? I said, ?Yes.? And he said, ?They don?t know I?m coming.? (Laughter.) I wrote this book The Ten-Year Nap about these women who don?t work, but I?ve always worked. But when my kids were little and they were in kindergarten, I would hang around. You know, when you have young kids and the school says, ?Bring your kid to school between the hours of 11 and 11:18.? So, you know, the women who worked were kind of stuck. A lot of the men didn?t go ? this was just true. Later on, more of them did. But I got to know these women. And women who I probably would have overlooked in some ways earlier, because I thought we didn?t have anything in common. We had a lot in common, and I was limited in my thinking. I started to learn about what it meant to sort of feel vulnerable to go back into the workforce. What does it mean to have a child and to show that child that you have a professional life? So it wasn?t me, but it was a world that was all around me, and I was kind of marinating in it. So did I know it? I think I knew it, yeah.

Q:?Why do you suppose we invent categories for books written by women ? i.e., Mommy porn, Chick Lit ? but not for those written by men?

A: Mommy porn? Hmm. (Laughter.) You know, I owe a second book on this contract of mine ? (Laughter.) Look, the truth is women are the fiction readers in this country. I mean, it does stand to reason that there would be more categories, but it?s also true that for other reasons that are ingrained in our societies, we look to men for authority. And we need to look to women for authority and not just for Mommy porn. But, you know, it?s happening more and more. The great writer Jennifer Egan, whose book A Visit From the Goon Squad won a Pulitzer Prize last year ? it was a book read by both men and women. I?m really, really hoping that categories will fade away, and that the truth is what rises to the top. Kind of like a number in a bingo tumbler. It?s not the junky stuff either by men or women, but something you love, something you care about, something you want to give a friend to read. And that, in my fantasy world, it?s pretty gender blind.

Q:?Please speak to the impact that vocalizing your written word plays in your creative process.

A:?For me, you know, I used to go to readings all the time when I first started out. And there was a certain kind of reading voice that you would hear a lot. And for those of you who have been to poetry readings in particular, you?ll know what I?m talking about. ?I come into the room, the oranges are on the table.? And it never reads like that, you know, but I thought, ?How did all these people start reading like that? When did that happen?? And it?s not at all like their real voices. I realized that at readings, especially when they started being in bookstores and bookstores started having cappuccino machines, you were fighting with the cappuccino machines. You had to be entertaining. So, I mean, I know I like to sort of tell some jokes if I?m on a stage, but, you know, writers are serious. I mean, we take our work as dead serious as everything, but I feel that when you talk to people, you?re giving them something that they don?t have on their page. And it?s something of a performance. A Mommy porn? Hmm. (Laughter.) You know, I owe a second book on this contract of mine ? (Laughter.) Look, the truth is women are the fiction readers in this country. I mean, it does stand to reason that there would be more categories, but it?s also true that for other reasons that are ingrained in our societies, we look to men for authority. And we need to look to women for authority and not just for Mommy porn. But, you know, it?s happening more and more. The great writer Jennifer Egan, whose book A Visit From the Goon Squad won a Pulitzer Prize last year ? it was a book read by both men and women. I?m really, really hoping that categories will fade away, and that the truth is what rises to the top. Kind of like a number in a bingo tumbler. It?s not the junky stuff either by men or women, but something you love, something you care about, something you want to give a friend to read. And that, in my fantasy world, it?s pretty gender blind.

Q:?Do you think the Hunger Games is information without context? Your thoughts on that phenomenon, please.

A:?I haven?t read the books, so I really can?t speak to that. I know that those books have excited a lot of people about reading, and that is good. I think that from what I?ve heard from people, they are very exciting books, and they are very dark. And we live in an exciting and dark world, so I don?t see anything terrible about it. I mean, look, I grew up reading Harriet the Spy ? that was about as dark as it got for me. The world was different. What excites you, what drives you, and what?s real, I think are things that young readers should be reading.

Q:?So many people say, ?Oh, I don?t read fiction,? as if that makes them superior to the rest of us. To what novel would you send them?

A:?Who are these people? I want their names. (Laughter.) So many say that. I feel so sad right now. There?s a novel that I?ve recommended more times than any, and I like recommending it, because I could say To the Lighthouse, but you all know To the Lighthouse. But there?s a novel called Mrs. Bridge by Evan S. Connell. Some people know it? I?m so glad. It was written in the ?50s. It?s about a Kansas City housewife, Mrs. Bridge. Yes, it was made into that Paul Newman-Joanne Woodward movie, but forget that. It was kind of almost like a literal interpretation of it. It?s about a woman?s life, an ordinary woman. A housewife in Kansas City right before the start of World War II. And she tries to better herself, and she tries to do things, but she?s held back by the times and by who she is. It?s sad and funny. It?s hilarious. It?s brilliant. It?s not like anything else I?ve read. It?s great for book clubs. There?s a lot to say in it about women?s lives and about marriage, about men. A great book contains everything. When I write a novel, I try to put in everything I know and I?m thinking about at the time. And then I take out most of it when I?m revising it. But that book is very knowledgeable.

Q:?Questioner asks you to put on your journalist?s hat, and asks what the future of the newspaper industry is.

A: Well, every newspaper person I?ve talked to starts the conversation off shaking their head and, you know, fake putting a gun to their heads, so ? Look, we are getting news in different ways. It?s changing. Newspapers are definitely dying and really, really struggling. We?ve created a need to have more rapidity about how we get information. And also, in the way we seek fiction. But what I think is true is: People will always want to know about the world, just as they always want a story. To bring it back to fiction ? which I can speak to almost a little better ? there were some studies done. They showed very young children, amoebas under the microscopes, then they asked them questions. And children said things like, ?That one?s the funny one, and that one?s the mother.? They want a story; they need a story. Newspapers tell a story. It?s sad because we grew up loving the smell and feel of newspapers. It?s changing. I don?t know where it will be. Not anywhere good, but we?re learning a lot more about our lives.

Q:?Have any of your books been presented as dramatic plays?

A:?No, but I?ve had two made into films. ?This is My Life,? and also a TV movie of a novel of mine called Surrender Dorthy, was a book made into a TV movie with Diane Keaton for CBS. I am writing a play that is going to be based on a young adult book that I?m writing now, and I?m teaching it. I am doing this weird, kind of interesting thing. There?s a program at Princeton called the Princeton Atelier, and they invite artists to come in and work together. I?m doing it, I?m collaborating with a musician friend of mine, Suzzy Roach ? some of you know the Roaches, the music of the Roaches ? so we?re going to do it in music. And I?ve learned from her that there?s such an overlap between all of the arts. I feel if you like books, you?ll love movies. It kind of goes that way. So I would love to write a play some time, but I haven?t had a stage adaptation, no.

Q:?What is the title of the book from which you read?

A:?That?s called The Position.

Q:?And finally, you?re very funny. Do your children think you?re funny?

A:?(Laughter.) Well, it was embarrassing recently when they kind of get your schtick, and you know that? There was a line on ?The Sopranos,? actually a related line, where Tony and Carmela are lying in bed and they?re talking about their kids and they said, ?What are we going to do when they realize one day that we really have no control over them?? And my version would be, ?What was I going to do when they realize that this was a schtick and that it was a way of being?? And in fact my son said to me, ?Yes, yes, Mom, we know you?re funny.?

So then I tried to just be very serious. For days, I spoke in a very, very (trails off as voice becomes somber). It was very monastic around the house. I put black crepe everywhere. You know what, that?s nice that somebody thought I was funny. For me, humor is just, it comes out of the things that are so painful that are just part of everything. That just ? this sort of absurdity that you have to deal with if you?re raising kids, if you?re trying to be a writer in the non-literate world. All kinds of things like that.

My kids are pretty funny, I have to say. They?re really, really quite witty. Both adopted. No, they?re not. Yeah, we?ve tried to have funny things in the house, I think. A lot of Whoopee Cushions. And, (Laughter.) and I have to say, spending time with Roger really cranks the level of humor up and the desire to be funny.

?Transcribed by?Jessie Cadle

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